Posted by highlysuspect on April 28, 2011 in politics
From the Desk of:
David Martin, Executive Vice President
Media Research Center
April 27, 2011
NEWSFLASH: Katie Couric, who gave a slightly more literal meaning to the word anchor as she sunk the ratings of CBS Nightly News, is calling it quits – no doubt to seek out more lucrative leftist opportunities.
But this isn’t about Katie. This is about that bastion of left-wing reporting, CBS Nightly News, that made a rash, premature call to hire Couric half-a-decade ago. In the years that followed, CBS News paid Ms. Couric $15 million a year to take the broadcast to an all-time ratings low.
In a “compassionate effort” to help the beleaguered news giant through this difficult time, Media Research Center founder Brent Bozell has graciously stepped forward offering his services, and those of the MRC Action team to help find a suitable replacement to help turn around the ratings slide — restoring luster to the once proud CBS News brand.
+ + Offer Your Advice and Suggestions to CBS News Executives
Willard, we know you are eager to offer up your suggestions, but we do want to tell you that Brent has already offered up Charlie Sheen and Britney Spears as a possible replacements. Charlie is charismatic − and coincidentally out of work − and provided CBS is lax on their disciplinary policies, either could be a perfect fit.
But we are certain that our esteemed Action team will be able to come up with a host of possibilities once those creative juices start flowing. Simply click on the link and rush your replacement thoughts to CBS News executives. Considering their last choice, we expect they will be eternally grateful for your help and concern.
After sending your emails, forward this important alert to 30-40 conservative friends and family — urging them to help CBS make the right choice in replacing Katie.
Thank you for taking the time to assist CBS with their difficult decision!